yesterday

Yesterday would have been my mother's 70th birthday. It was a bit of a struggle. A walk on the beach and the warm spring sunshine helped.

 Then I went to my studio and painted, which also helped. It has been 18 years without her (and 16 without my dad) but it's my mum I miss most.

This morning on the way back from walking to school I picked some violets. My mum loved plants, she had an amazing knowledge of plants, she knew so many by their Latin names, and she was a tireless gardener.

This afternoon I went and visited my parents gravestones. They do have a lovely view of the area, the farm where we spent most of our lives together is near here.

I picked a red camellia from the bush at the church. Someone else had recently placed a bunch of camellias on her grave, but they had died. And a wee clump of blue soldiers (muscari) were bravely growing in the stoney ground.

This is a blog post that I've been writing in my head for the last two days, and I'm still not sure whether I should hit publish. On one hand I tell myself if I'm going to keep up with this blogging thing I do need to move past the pretty photos and reveal a little more of myself. On the other I think why do it? Because it's very much part of me and I think its good for me to do so. Here goes .......